My Busted Opinion

Alright, so in this post we have another long ass summary because I'm stalling on reviewing this thing. I thought I would be a little more of a jokester in this one, but I don't think I can really manage it. Obviously, the things I dislike about this manga are going to be pretty heavy, but it appears I forgot that my reasons for liking this manga actually require me to reveal a lot about my complicated relationship with sex, which isn't necessarily a comedic jaunt for my fellow fujo trash.

I don't really mind getting into it since this blog is at least quasi-anon, and even as my actual, fully-identified self I very much relate to that tweet that everyone who has grown up online thinks is hella funny:

I've mentioned a few times before that I have little sexual experience and have never really had a partner. Sexual inexperience is what makes Hiriki a relatable character for me in Konya mo Nemurenai and the same goes here for Yamashita. However, I probably have such a strong attachment to Porno Superstar because Yamashita, a 26-year old virgin, is much closer to me in age. I'll be turning 25 in exactly a week.

And while I do sympathize with Hiriki and my former 18-year old self, it feels very different being a virgin in your late teens than it does being a virgin in your mid-20s. The average age that girls in the U.S. become sexually active is 16 or 17, and although that number has been rising in recent years (I think), it's kind of a mixed bag of emotions to be lagging behind in this regard when you're not celibate for religious reasons or something like that.

Without straying too far into femcel territory because that doesn't exactly line up with my lived experience—I have had opportunities to have sex that would have been degrading or otherwise bad for me, but these opportunities still existed nonetheless—this manga does do something for me in terms of representing a late sexual bloomer in a way that doesn't play it off for laughs.

The older you get, especially as a man, the more people think your sexual inexperience is a big ass joke. The less experience you have, the harder people laugh. I love that Yamashita had never so much as kissed another person before Asazaki because I actually haven't done that either. It's so refreshing to feel akin to someone your age over, like, hand-holding being the most X-rated thing you've ever done, even when that someone is a fictional character.

I talked a little already in the summary about how Yamashita is probably too scared or doesn't think it's particularly worth it to pursue a relationship with a real person because of his traumatic personal history. We'll get into how I actively dislike that plot point in a minute, but I can't say that it doesn't also resonate with me.

While I am lucky to have escaped my youth without the wide scale isolation and torment that Yamashita experienced, my relationship to sex has been fraught for a long time, likely due to knowing what sex was wayyy too fucking young and growing up in an environment in which men (to whom I have the misfortune of being predominantly sexually and romantically attracted) truly weren't shit and women were worse off for their associations with them.

It makes sense to me that Yamashita directs his sexual energy into a parasocial relationship with a porn star because—if I'm being very real—I do the same shit with BL media to a certain degree. Simulation theory, or that idea that BL appeals to young girls as a way to imagine or simulate sexual encounters from a safe distance, has been rightfully criticized (by the woman who first proposed it no less) as leaving out the many older, sexually active, and/or non-women fans and their reasons for liking BL, but I can't deny that the genre has definitely served that purpose for me.

It's nice to have representation of a character who retreats solely into the digital realm for sexual and romantic stimulation without it being an ~lol I love my 2-D waifu~ kind of person. It feels much less weird and shaming, especially when compared to things like that one Gochisou-sama [That Was Good] extra about the Vampire Knight otaku.

Anyway, even though the relationship Yamashita has with Asazaki is quite literally my worst nightmare, it does also send me two helpful reminders: 1) being sexually desperate can have disastrous consequences, especially if there are intersectional factors making you vulnerable and 2) it's never too late to put your fucking foot down about something.

The scene in which Yamashita tells Asazaki he can't stand homophobes like him and refuses to accept his shit apology is truly life-giving; it makes me feel powerful by proxy. He asserts relatively proudly that he is homosexual and loves gay porn, which is pretty amazing in itself, but also forces Asazaki to confront the fact that he talks about gayness in a way that undermines the humanity of gay people—their emotions, desires, and right to love and be loved. Asazaki does have the decency to feel at least a little bad about it, too.

And while Yamashita does ultimately decide to enter an official relationship with Asazaki, which is a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea, he does make it pretty clear that he'll not be putting up with their abusive dynamic any longer. We definitely have no reason to trust Asazaki when he agrees to treat Yamashita more gently, but Asazaki does say sweet things to Yamashita during the makeup sex and seems to actually be a decent boyfriend in the extras.

I don't know, guys. When it comes down to it, if we can justify liking Finder, I don't see why we can't make room for Porno Superstar. Two Ryuichis, two relationships that begin as a result of literal sexually-based crimes, two stories with genuine romance that probably isn't justified. There are even some quotes from Porno Superstar that I think about a lot for being actually good writing:

I don't know who said it before: there are people in this world who have never made love, but there will never be a person who has only made love once.

But that's enough about that. We're going to transition away from the things that are slightly redeeming about this manga because what I really want to talk about is a concept called gay punishment, or the reason why I really hate some things about Yamashita's characterization. I plan to talk about this in a larger post about homophobia and its many different manifestations in BL media, but it's a huge issue with this story in particular and I can't not put it out there in this review.

Like with the non-con and dub con post, I'm going to pull heavily from a really great video essay to describe and elaborate on the concept, not only because its author is way more compelling than me, but she can also speak from her experiences as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in a way that I cannot.

I had never heard the term gay punishment before watching May's video, but once she started explaining it, the concept was definitely something with which I was familiar:

[Gay punishment] is this narrative device that's often used where it's the belief of the writer that gay people are tortured by God. Like, society hates gay people, gay people are gonna kill themselves or be murdered or die poor and alone or with a disease or something like that…

This sort of theming, intentional or otherwise, will ring a few bells with avid BL readers. She goes on to discuss how gay punishment is indicative of a larger, pervasive issue about storytelling—people telling stories of which they have no real understanding or inclination to try to understand deeper—and the othering effect of giving LGBTQ+ characters not-normal stories to show how they and their experiences are abnormal.

[It Chapter 2 is] written by a straight person, they clearly have no understanding of actual gay people or their lives, but we're gonna write it for cheap drama because straight people can enjoy it and feel safe because they're not gay… These stories may look like they don't hurt people but they do. They encourage this narrative of gay people will always die miserable and alone, so whenever anybody feels like, oh, I'm gay and I'd like to tell people about that, it immediately becomes terrifying… It's a stereotype, it's a stigma, and the movie has no problem doing it.

I'm sure you can see how this applies to Porno Superstar and Yamashita's history being bullied to the point where he has no meaningful relationships, including platonic ones, and self-describes as a gloomy (read: miserable) person. He ends up in an abusive relationship that he decides to stay in because he believes he can do no better, which is something his abusive boyfriend explicitly tells him, too.

The messaging we're getting from this story is that if you're gay, you're going to grow up miserable and alone, and if you do somehow end up in a relationship, it's probably going to be shitty either way, so just go ahead and settle for the first partner that comes your way regardless of how they treat you. Like I said, I'm definitely going to try and dive deeper into this later down the line, but I definitely have a problem with this aspect of the story, no matter how much parts of it resonate with me.

Now, when it comes to recommending this manga, I can't really say that I do. Porno Superstar is near and dear to my heart because of my personal sexual baggage and the relatability of its protagonist on that level. Just remember that if you're ever trolling through my Google Doc of BL manga [this is undergoing hella revision so no live link lol] and see that there are three flame emojis next to this contentious title (i.e. my rating system), I have my reasons for that and I don't expect anyone to second the motion on this one.

Nanami did make a sequel to this called Shiny Star about Hikaru, gay porn icon, but I have no interest in ever reading that and I'm pretty sure it's been dropped or on hiatus for a minute. In short: I'm not reviewing it.

Next up I can actually guarantee we'll be back to a rip-roaring good time, since I'll be reviewing sweet pool, which isn't not fodder for a serious conversation, but is something I've been joking about since 2011 or something when I first encountered 4shiki's hilarious review. I have two routes remaining, which I hope to get through sometime this week… I'm excited, but kind of sad at the same time. I never thought I would get the chance to actually play the game in English, so finishing it out will definitely be bittersweet.

Until then!

xoxo Shio

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